What if?!

Self Respect has come up a lot in my recent life lessons and honestly I suck at it. I hate admitting it on so many levels, but friends have been calling me out on it left and right and I see it in the mirror more and more. I realize that on any given day I can have more respect for people that I barely know than myself. This pattern is changing fast though! I am learning that my needs come right after my kids! It sounds easier than it is. In this lesson some questions have come up of self love and self care and listening to my heart, and soul. And when I listen from a distance it can seem like they are not aligned, but when I listen closely from an open and quiet space they are in sync saying the same things and in harmony with each other.
What if tomorrow we woke up and loved the person we saw in the mirror? What if we felt love for every single bump, lump, sag, bruise, wrinkle, crease and imperfection. What if all those imperfections were perfect and completely worthy of just as much love as the perfections. What if we could see all our imperfections through the eyes of a friend or loved one that sees all those imperfections as perfections?

Luv!

I was recently challenged by a good friend to write my version of what I think the difference is between being in love and feeling love for someone..... Well..... I haven't quite figured that out yet, but here's something else I was thinking about.
What if I related to love as something that no one could take way, give, receive, throw away, leave and share? What if I related to love as something that just is? It sounds way more freeing in a lot of ways! The concept that no one could take away their love for me,  I would never worry or think about that if love just IS. I could relate to people with love, with a completely open heart, no filters, no strings attached, just feel the fullness of love for everyone that we meet. Granted my bond with certain individuals would be stronger than others, like kids and mates and family. The love however  would be the same for everyone, no more, no less. There in the air the love would be, in every breath I take, in every interaction I make, in every smile and scowl I see.

40 Things I have learned in the past year of dating....................

1. Just because some men wear Carharts doesn't mean it always looks good, but for the most part it does.
2. If a man shows up with Kittens doesn't mean he will be as gentle or as sweet as they are
3. If he tells you he loves you within the first week of dating you, stay away!
4. On Valentines day, no date is better than a boring one. Quit being so desperate!
5. Just because a guy calls and wishes you a Happy Valentines day, does not mean he means anything else by it.
6. Romance comes in all forms.
7. If he changes into his slippers in the middle of the date, tell him to take you home
8. Don't make any assumptions, EVER!
9. Just because they are the best dressed and take you out to the fanciest dinners, doesn't mean you get to fall in love with them or come anywhere close to.
10. The most easy, low budget and careless dates can be the best ones.
11. Drunk sex is nothing compared to sober!
12. Chivalry isn't dead, and feels really good, but can be used in twisted ways, don't be confused with kind gestures.
13. Texting is nice, but overrated. There is nothing like hearing a sweet and deep voice on the other end.
14. If they can't accept the level of which you listen to country music, it ain't worth it.
15. Silliness goes along way, even when they are ridiculously good-looking with no sense of humor, there is no future possible.
16. My heart can start to flutter with an amazing kiss in public.
17. A man who cooks is a good man!
18. A man who expresses too many emotions at once, isn't always what women want.
19. Don't have a guy take you on a first or second date to a place you frequent, cause everytime you go back to that place it might be bittersweet.
20. IF they do take you some place you frequent though, time heals all and you can go back to that place with a great memory of a very memorable and nice evening.
21. Kind and Sweet words can send you into a tailspin  that will knock you on your ass, stay as centered as possible!
22. A man who doesn't appreciate nature, is not making the cut to a second date
23. Make sure they are putting in as much effort as you are cause they are not going to change or get better at it.
24. A man who has a good relationship with his mom is a good sign.
25. Make sure you know the difference between feeling like your heart is open and it ACTUALLY being open
26. Make sure he passes any friends tests before moving into any third bases
27. He needs to be happy with you in your jeans or yoga pants as well as in a hot classy dress.
28. Compliments go far, but make sure you know they are sincere and not with alterior motives.
29. Online dating Vs. in-person dating, men are men and don't make anything easier or harder.
30. A man who isn't afraid of and appreciates mud is one worth keeping around.
31. Getting excited about a new man is super exciting, just pace yourself because it takes awhile to get to know someone for real.
32. Let go all any and all expectations when meeting a new guy
33. Catch yourself if you are putting "daddy" issues onto them
34. A man who can quote every line in A Princess Bride isn't as romantic and sweet as you might wish
35. Men who say they are OK with Country music, mean they almost never listen to it.
36. My version of a single hot farmer, is way different than an actual single farmer.
37. Savor every minute of a good date, you never know when the next one will be.
38. Be optimistic and open and even sometimes a little naïve, but not too naïve, there is a fine line!
39. When you get closer to finding "the guy" for you, you realize that all the others helped to prepare you and teach you valuable lessons.
40. There is a big difference in feeling love for people and being "in love"

BEST Tostada EVER! IMHO!

With my recent discovery  of homemade refried Beans we have enjoyed them many ways. The boys fave is the Bean-A-Dillas! But mine and Scotts are this way:
I Corn tortilla heated up with some beans on it. Then our fave kind of cheese melted onto the beans. Finely grate a small beet and chop up some lettuce and throw those both on the melted cheese. Top with a spoon full of sour cream and a couple spoonfulls of Salsa and ENJOY!

Living for TODAY!

I have been catching myself and my heart still holding on to fears and feelings that were apart of my reality a year or more ago that are no longer relevant. WHY do I do this? I can even feel how body holds stress from stress that I experienced a year or more ago. So today I start a new commitment to myself. When I am aware of it, I will be making a conscious effort to releasing the stresses, the feelings and the fears of the past. I Cannot control or predict the future so why would I hold on to the past. A lot of things in the past are great: child birth, first kisses, babies, weddings and so on, but IF it doesn't completely 100% serve me with where I am RIGHT NOW, it is being released so that I can feel good today and tomorrow.

Who we choose?

You know they say that we marry our Father or we marry our mother and you never really think that it will be you atleast me. In my case I got married and now I am humble. All those times when I said, "that will never happen to me/us,", "we will never say/do that" I have done............. Thinking about separating is really hard for many reasons, but with everything there is an upside, so today I am thinking about all the gifts I have gained over the last six years of my life and lessons I have learned, and knowledge that I have gained (and a few pounds.LOL) I have learned that it is okay if you marry someone like your mother or your father for they will then help you heal and mirror ways that you need to heal. Ultimately I chose someone that has helped me come to a deeper sense of peace with myself in relationship to my parents. We all bring our own baggage into relationships, partnerships and friendships and the gifts come when we see that we are each-others teachers and equals. I am going to learn and love from you as much as you are going to learn and love from me.

Boundaries!

Setting boundaries, claiming boundaries.............. Some feel great, others make me want to cry. Today was a big day in the world of boundaries. I set some, tried not forget some and cleared some up. Interesting to me how clear boundaries can be set and then in a blink of an eye, I shock myself with pushing it. "S" and I put up some very important ones today really for us and for the boys and yet there are so many grey areas and yet I feel safe.. There sure is no book for this, no set of rules, no guidelines and still I am pleased with how today went. There was no blame, no shame and no hurt today. Accepting things I CANNOT change is a big lesson for me and reminding myself constantly to focus on things that I can change and want to change and release and be at peace with the things I can't.
Today I also realized I am a bit of a glutton for punishment, like why would I ask questions to things I didn't really want to know the answer to and had to keep being reminded that the answers didn't matter and that I didn't want to know them anyways.
There is really no better teachers than the ones right in front of our faces: testing, pushing and showing us where are strengths and weaknesses are.